The Billionaires of Hawaii Need to Step Up
So, here’s what I’m thinking….
The beautiful people of Lahaina are hurting. Also, there are a lot of really really really wealthy people with properties in Maui and on other Hawaiian islands.
Like, Jeff Bezos (net worth $195B) and his $78 million Maui estate.
Zuckerberg (net worth $107B) and his 1300 acre Kahuaina Plantation. (Note: Ol’ Zuck filed suit in 2017 against native Hawaiians owing tiny parcels around his land to force them to sell their lots so he could “enhance” his privacy on their island. Although he eventually dropped the lawsuits he hasn’t stop the land grab. What a peach.)
Larry Ellison (net worth $142B) and the ENTIRE ISLAND OF LANAI. Yes, the co-founder of Oracle owns an entire Hawaiian island like a Bond villain.
These guys are billionaires hundreds and hundreds times over. They make more money in a day than most people see in a year.
AND…they have other billionaire friends with Hawaiian estates. Lots and lots and lots of them. Not a “little rich,” mind you. A LOT rich. The kind of rich where they couldn’t even possibly spend all their money if they wanted to.
STAY WITH ME, PEOPLE. I AM GETTING TO MY POINT.
If these billionaires who gobbled up Hawaiian land pooled their resources, Lahaina could be rebuilt in no time. It’s just like if the Ziplock people partnered with the cereal industry…it makes perfect sense.
If, for example, Bezos shifted focus away from launching the uber wealthy into space aboard a rocket ship penis and instead, dedicated all those resources to Lahaina…could you imagine how much better the lives of those displaced by this tragedy would be?
It's only right, methinks. Plus, once rebuilt, they might even erect a statue to honor him.
If we’re lucky, it would look like his spaceship.