(I wrote this awhile ago. And I sat on it, because posting it would only cause a stir.
But, the stir has already been caused.
And I felt hypocritical NOT posting it.
Actually, I feel hypocritical posting it, too.
Like the subject itself, I'm conflicted, for it's never all or nothing.
In the end, I posted it in the hopes that if YOU feel the same way, you'll know you're not alone.)
I shouldn’t write this.
It’s a hot topic and unlike the store of the same name in the mall, there is nothing fun about this article. Nothing. What’s more, this post will offend everyone, ‘cause I guaran-dam-tee you that no matter where you fall on this hot topic, something in this post will make you angry.
And yet, look…I’m writing it anyway.
I’m writing my thoughts because they are conflicted, and I don’t like feeling conflicted. I’m writing them because my faith and my logic are butting heads. I don’t like that feeling, either.
And lastly, I’m writing in the hopes that someone else feels the same way, ‘cause it’s nice to know you aren’t alone.
Someone asked me recently where I stand on the news sweeping the country. Several states have recently come out with some of the strongest anti-abortion legislation we’ve seen since Roe v. Wade came into being. Alabama has taken it a step further by refusing to put exceptions for rape and incest. I’ve often wondered at the words “except in the case of rape or incest” as part of an abortion ban. I mean, if you are pro-life, then it doesn’t much matter how that life got there, be it rape or incest, it now IS and must be protected. Anything less is hypocritical.
And hypocritical is actually a good word, ‘cause it’s how I’m feeling today. I believe life begins at conception and I despise abortion. I loathe it. I cringe when I realize that the vast majority of abortions are performed for non-medical reasons; they aren’t performed as a result of rape or incest; they are performed for convenience.
I hate that.
But yet knowing this, and here’s the part that tears at my heart, I don’t feel abortion should be illegal. I believe it should remain the law of the land.
Pretty sure I can hear angels weep as I write this. I’m even emotional typing it, for I hold Psalm 139 dear to my heart and have called on it more than once in my life for comfort:
“For you created my inmost being
You knit me together in my mother’s womb
I praise YOU for because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful; I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
I believe Psalm 139 like I believe in the sun and the moon and the stars.
And yet, here I stand, grappling with the truth of supporting a procedure that stops a beating heart.
(I can hear it already: “How can she call herself a Christian if she supports this?” Well, hang on to something kids: I am also against the death penalty. See? I’m just a bundle of contradictions.)
Having said all this, I must make one thing abundantly clear: while I am pro-choice I am NOT pro-abortion. (Cue the people yelling: “THEY ARE THE SAME THING!” I hear you, people, and trust me, I wrestle with this, too.)
But they aren’t. Let me explain.
I do not cheerfully support abortion rights. I am not gleeful about abortion and it turns my stomach to see those who are. And before you say, “Come on-nobody is gleeful over abortion,” might I direct your attention to the countless women’s rallies in which we see women smiling and joyful over the removing of a baby from its mothers womb? It’s like a party, ya’ll. These gals are super excited about abortion, like this individual on the Twitter:
“Vacuum that shit out of me.” Yeah, you read that right.
Or how about the social media campaign: “SHOUT YOUR ABORTION!” with the reminder that “Abortion is normal.” It’s like getting a haircut or pedicure, right? <shrug>
Or the article in Teen Vogue: “What to Get a Friend Post-Abortion.” Yes, an Abortion Gift guide so you can get the perfect gift for your teenage friend after her abortion. “Cause, you know, no big deal. Everyone is doing it, right?
Or how about those who celebrate their aborted baby boy with a cake and a social media post?
These and countless more are the reason I am hesitant to say I am pro-choice. I don’t want to be lumped in with these people. Ever. There’s no way to excuse it and there’s no way around it—these are AWFUL people who literally celebrate abortion. Equally awful are the protests being scheduled AT THE HOMES of the Supreme Court Justices in the aftermath of the leaked opinion that the abortion issue is best left up to the states.
These are their homes. ARREST THEM ALL.
But while I am pro-choice, my support for Roe V. Wade has limits. (This is where all the pro-choice people will have their turn to be angry. I told you--this has something for everyone.)
If you are someone who has an abortion punch card at Planned Parenthood, then girlfriend, it’s time to tie those tubes. I mean, come on. After a couple non-medical abortions, I think it’s safe to say you aren’t taking contraception seriously. It’s not high on your priority list. Let’s do what we need to do make sure it doesn’t happen again.
(Speaking of Planned Parenthood, here’s a fun little fact: did you know that Planned Parenthood dropped Margaret Sanger’s name from their Manhattan Clinic over her ties to the eugenic movement, the notion that the human race would be improved by “selective breeding?” )
At the same time, I firmly believe late term non-medical abortions should be outlawed. When you have to break limbs to terminate an unwanted pregnancy, you’ve waited too long.
There has to be a middle ground between “no abortions” and “abortions whenever you want them for any reason.”
Because to my mind, there is a difference between “having a right to do a thing” and “doing the right thing.” I fault no one for their stance, for people on both sides of this hot topic have a story that shapes their perspective. We might not know them, but the stories are there, both for and against. It’s imperative that we remember this.
So, my friends, there it is-my stance on abortion. I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is.
I am a Pro-Life-Choicer: a realist who knows what will happen if abortion is banned nationwide and yet, someone who hopes that women choose life.
I live in that gray area of reality where life is messy and complicated and nothing comes in a neat little package.
I know that abortion stops a beating heart.
I know that those hearts are attached to lives who don’t have a say on how they came to be.
I weep for the lives lost.
I weep for the soul of a nation that doesn’t consider these as lost lives.
And I weep because in spite of knowing this, I don’t think it should change.
(Note: All this being said, I don’t think it’s right to dox women and young girls or ANYONE quietly praying outside a Planned Parenthood because you don’t agree with them. When you do that, you end up looking like the very thing that gets women pregnant in the first place, namely, a dick.)
My Thoughts On a Difficult Issue
I used to be one of those “except in the case of rape” people, until I found myself with a new dear friend who was conceived through rape. She is so kind, generous, faithful and a beautiful mother of her own 4 children, it was hard to believe a woman like her could have been lost to the world through a “justified” abortion.