I lost our Roomba.
The kids gave it to us a few months ago as a gift, but it sat in its box until Christmas Day, when the darling son set it up. To be clear, it’s not that I COULDN’T set it up; I just didn’t want to bother with it during the holidays. I’m at that point in life where I see a new technological thing and think, “OMG. Something else to set up and program.” Also, "Hey you kids...GET OFF MY LAWN."
We named it “Buster,” not because we are ultra-precious and cutesy, but because the app requires you to name it.
Buster is pretty good at what he does. He’s gotten stuck a couple times under the chair and ate the shoelace on one of my roller skates, but other than that, he’s surprisingly efficient. He gives off a Star Wars vibe as he zips around the ground like one of those tiny robot things on the Death Star. I honestly didn’t think it would pick up a lot, but turns out, I was wrong. He leaves his docking station every day at 12pm and “vacuums” for about 90 minutes. The first few days of operation, he scared the crap out of me when he turned on.
“WHAT IS THAT NOISE? SOMEONE CALL 911! OR A PLUMBER!"
I made the joke that I was worried Buster would become self-aware, and one day the DH and I would wake up to find Buster on the bed in between us where the dog should be, you know, if Buster hadn’t eaten her.
But now, Buster is lost. As in, I can’t find him. Anywhere.
Now, I don’t live in a ginormous house. We have four bedrooms but only two actually have beds in them. One sofa. One dining room table. Some chairs. There aren’t a lot of places where a Roomba can hide.
But Buster is crafty. He’s wedged himself somewhere and allowed his battery to die, so now, I must engage in a Search and Rescue mission for a Roomba.
How hard could it be to find him, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ll let you know when he turns up.
I’m not entirely convinced the whole “he-became-self-aware” thing didn’t happen.
What if he's with his other Roomba friends plotting an insurrection?
I think they can communicate among themselves. I'll ask Robert to contact Buster and ask him to go home.