Green M&Ms and Female Empowerment

The candy company, Mars, announced that the cartoon M&M’s are getting makeovers to fit into a “more dynamic, progressive world.” According to the company, the redesign will feature changes that better reflect “personalities, rather than their gender.”

Green M&M will no longer wear her signature high-heeled boots. She’s now in “cool, laid back sneakers to reflect her effortless confidence.” The company says Green M&M will be “better represented to reflect confidence and empowerment, as a strong female, and known for much more than her boots."

So, she can’t wear high-heeled boots and feel empowered?

Brown M&M and Green M&M are now going to be more friendly toward each other, “throwing shine and not shade.” Brown M&M”s high heels are being lowered to a more “professional” height.

Again, with the girls’ shoes, Mars?

Anxious Orange M&M, with a nod to Gen Z, will now be embracing his anxiety, demonstrated by newly tied shoelaces, while Red M&M will be kinder to his M&M family.

I get rebranding. Everything gets old and needs a fresh update, but, oh boy.

Female empowerment by appearing “less” female.

We’ve entered some weird territory, kids. And since, we’re here, why not examine other problematic candy in need of some thoughtful makeovers:

Airheads = insensitive to those with memory issues

Jelly Belly = fat shaming

Butterfinger = insensitive to those with arthritis in their hands

Tootsie Roll = lacking empathy toward the constipated

3 Musketeers = an arrow to the heart for those without two close friends

Snickers = basically, the candy bar that laughs at you

PayDay = a dig at the unemployed

Nerds = a candy reminder that you will never be cool

America, how are we standing for this?