Face-Shoved in Hanoi: a love story
French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife, Brigitte, landed in Hanoi, Vietnam a few days ago for an official visit. Before deboarding the plane, and while cameras were rolling, Emmanuel was treated to a slap by his wife. Well, not so much a slap—more of a presidential face shove.
Let’s take a look:
Let’s zoom in for an even closer look:
Now, Macron is shrugging this whole thing off as playfulness. Nothing to see here. No big deal. Just some casual, Gallic-style goofing around. Totally normal.
I mean, my son and I goof like this all the time. Face shoves are our love language. But they are usually followed by a reciprocal face shove and a lot of laughter—-NOT a startled look of “Mon Dieu! The cameras caught that…and now my soul is leaving my body.”
So, I began to ponder: what, exactly, did ol’ Emmanuel say right before the face shove? Did he comment on her outfit? Hairstyle? Forget their anniversary? Did he try to mansplain baguette slicing?
We’ll never know for sure…but I have some theories.
Things Emmanuel Macron Might Have Said to Earn the Tarmac Shove Heard Round the World:
“When I said I wanted to feel dominated by an older woman, I meant in the fun way.”
“Do you think if I grow a beard, people will stop calling me ‘Justin Trudeau Lite’?”
“I told Zelensky you still call me your ‘petit macaron’.”
“You were so much cooler when I was 15. And you were my teacher.”
“Of course, it’s our national food. Why else would it be called a FRENCH fry.”
“I’m only flirting with the press secretary because you told me I needed to connect more with the public.”
‘Thinking about opening with this: ‘You know the difference between the Eiffel Tower and my presidency? The tower has more structural support.”
“You know what Putin told me? He said if I survive your mood swings, I can survive a land war in Eastern Europe.”
And while any of those statements could have triggered a reaction, I suspect THIS was the line that launched a thousand face shoves:
“Why don’t you look more like Melania?”
Oh boy.
Go with God, Emmanuel.
Maybe sleep with one eye open. And both hands over your baguette.